It's Raining Men: Part 1

Sorry it's been so long since my last update. School has been crazy, plus I've been writing like a madwoman. Novel 2 is finished, Novel 3 started, plus 2 novellas are in the works. 

Joining me as a guest blogger for the next several days is my lovely (and witty) roommate, Susan.

Ever watched a movie, tuned into a TV show, or read a book with a romantic element and thought “Damn, I wish I had the options that (Insert heroine’s name) had. I would not have nearly as hard a time choosing/just being happy with my life as she did.” We two lonely bibliophilic roommates, Susan and Taylor, term this series of nagging thoughts and lovingly envious emotions as the “Bitches with Options Syndrome.” It’s not that we don’t absolutely adore most of these heroines; it’s just that every one of these gals seems to have multiple alternatives upon whom to bequeath her love and favor. These choices of men display an array of positive and negative qualities that we will soon expound upon, but the point is that they are there, ready to love and be loved. For some girls it’s raining men…for others the high pressure system that is living in a liberal arts university community where the boy/girl ration is roughly 80/20, there’s been a twenty one year drought that doesn’t show any signs of retreating. Therefore, here’s our list of some of our favorite ladies and their awesome options, because its better look where the grass is greener and critique it, than judge your own gravel lot.

Today, we start off with the girls who just have too many options. We'll move on from there :)

Italics- Commentary by Susan

 Sookie Stackhouse: Options? Girl’s got more options than she can say grace over. The candidates: Bill, Eric, Alcide, Sam, Quinn. Any normal girl would be satisfied with one of those options. But no. She’s got all 5.

Ok, so Bill never makes it as a real viable option. He’s got all those nefarious motives. And he’s got this awful habit of assuming Sookie can’t understand the decisions he makes. Yeah, she’s blonde, but that doesn’t mean she’s stupid. He could’ve stood a chance if he had been truthful with her. But no. He’s got to go and be all secretive and lie to her about hmm…everything? The same could be said for Quinn. He had the same jealous/possessive problem that Bill had AND he worked for Felipe de Castro. Men too stupid to see a good thing when they had it. Also not smart enough to move on once the girl says “no.”

 Sam and Alcide are genuinely nice guys. They have stable jobs and, for the most part, seem to actually care about Sookie. However, dudes have issues. LOTS of them. Sookie has enough of her own issues to deal with that she doesn’t need two-natured problems making her life harder on top of that.

Which leaves Eric (*sigh*) (*swoon*)

 Granted, he can be a bit domineering (ok, a lot). But he’s hot enough to get away with it (hello, shower scene?). And he at least explains his behavior. Eric, for all of his machinations, always does what’s best for Sookie and for both of them as a couple. He’s also the only one Susan or I truly believe would willingly die for Sookie.

Buffy:

Arguably the crown jewel in the brilliant career of Joss Whedon, Buffy the Vampire Slayer never failed to give all of the ladies (and roughly 10% of the viewing gentlemen) something to ogle at from week to week as the Scoobies averted the apocalypse time and time again. The beautiful and brooding Angel, the dependably handsome Riley, and the devilishly attractive Spike…saving the world must stock up some seriously potent karma points. Still, let’s attempt to examine these prime examples of eye-candy somewhat objectively in order to sort these options into more manageable doses of hotness.

Enchantingly mysterious. Occasionally evil. The first love. The most epic can’t eat, can’t sleep, with stars so crossed it made Romeo and Juliet’s romance look like a TV romcom, the Angel/Buffy relationship kept our eyes glued to the screen and our hearts thudding madly as we saw their soaring highs and tragically romantic lows. I mean, yeah she did kill him once, and he did kill Ms. Calendar (to be honest, who really liked her anyway?) but not even the fires of hell could separate their love. Angel represented everything that Buffy deserved in a man: virtually indestructible, caring, completely understanding, and enough contact with dark side to make humorous quips while killing demons with her. Sadly, he was such a good character Joss stripped him from our grips to give him his own spinoff…rude.

Riley ended up being an epic disappointment. He did prove that a supernatural badass like Buffy could have a “normal” boyfriend. Unfortunately, he took normalness to new extremes. The guy had zilch in the personality department other than a goofy smile and tossable early ‘00’s hair. Buffy even admitted that she already knew that they didn’t have the fire of her and Angel even BEFORE she went on her first date with Riley (You know, in Something Blue, season 4 , episode 9…so maybe I do own all of the series on DVD). Suffice it to say that Riley just couldn’t handle all that was Buffy and had to stoop to a level of whining about it while her mother was in the hospital. Go back to Iowa, you big fail.

Ah now we’ve arrived at Spike. Hilarious from day one and a super hottie from minute one, Spike kept us lovingly hating him even when he legitimately was trying to kill Buffy & co. When they finally got together it was an extreme relief it was a total “YES!” moment, but somehow their odd (and rather raunchy) relationship always lacked the complete tidal wave of passion and devotion that Angel brought to the table. The first bite is the deepest, and even the last episode of the series saw Buffy and Angel keeping up hope for their relationship…should they live long enough, of course. At the end of night, our dark haired, fanged, moody boy wins all.

While not an actual relationship of Buffy, Xander Harris must receive an honorable mention because his complete crush on Buffy began ten minutes into the pilot and stayed true through all of her relationships, through his relationships, and about a dozen apocalypses. Here’s to the relationship that never was, and two thirds of the most awesome friendship ever written for the small screen.   

Honorable Mentions: The ladies of the WB. The writers for CHARMED and GILMORE GIRLS certainly gave those women options. (Just listing serious relationships)

CHARMED

Piper: Jeremy, Dan, Leo

Phoebe: Clay, Cole, Drake, Jason, Leslie, Dex, Coop

Paige: Shane, Glen, Richard, Kyle, Henry

GILMORE GIRLS

Lorelai: Chris, Alex, Max, Jason, Luke

Rory: Dean, Tristan, Jess, Logan

For the most part, all of these options were viable and could have flourished into Happy Ever Afters. In CHARMED, they did (Leo, Coop, and Henry). But Dan Rosenthal left if wide open for the GGs. They STILL had options when the credits rolled for the last time. 

Tomorrow: Too many GOOD Options and Options that only really need one (Supernatural and normal)