I've read a lot lately about the strength or importance of first paragraphs. In the spirit of this and because I'm too lazy to do an extensive blog entry this week, I'm going to post the first few paragraphs of both of my novels and see what everybody thinks. Any feedback is heartily welcomed!
A Steady Wish (my first novel)
It is a truth generally acknowledged that a young woman is going to have a romantic ideal from an early age. We’re bombarded with movies filled with images of Prince Charming rescuing the damsel-in-distress and carrying her off to the castle to live happily ever after- although we never really know what that means. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been fascinated with romances. Part of me has always thought that romance was in my blood; I am descended from at least four generations of high school sweethearts. Even when I was too young to form coherent sentences, I would sit for hours watching these movies where the beautiful girl fell in love with the beautiful boy and they went on to (supposedly) lead the perfect life together.
I just realized: I’ve done a lot of talking, but you don’t know who I am. Well, my name is Margaret McGregor, but I go by Maggie.
In college, I was an English major and I absolutely love reading and analyzing and examining stories. However, as much as I enjoyed my world of books, I decided something during the summer between my first and second year in college: I needed to get a social life. Well, technically, I had somewhat of a social life, so more to the point, a romantic life. That’s right. I was 19 years old and had never even been on a real date.
For The Rest Of Our Lives (my second novel)
For The Rest Of Our Lives (my second novel)
A stack of books was attacking her the day he first walked into her store. As usual, she was trying to carry too many books over to the fiction section to shelve. Just as the bell jingled to alert her of a new arrival in the store, she lost her grip on the precariously balanced books and they went flying.
“Fudge monkey!” She immediately bent down gather up the scattered volumes.
“Are you alright?” He noticed that she didn’t look up at him as he knelt to help her. A becoming blush stained her cheeks as she reassembled the stack into a more sturdy structure. She was short, barely reaching his shoulder and of a moderately slender build. Her curly, red-brown hair fell into her Irish green eyes, obstructing his view of her face.
“I’m fine,” she said breathlessly. “Just clumsy, is all.”
“You’re not hurt?”
“Oh, I’ve taken worse tumbles than that. You’d think working in a book store would be safe, but it has its perils.” She took the last book from him and stood up, resuming her route to the fiction section. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Um, no, not really.” As her embarrassment died down, she began to notice him. His voice was lyrical, a mix of the Old South and a British accent. When she turned around, she was struck by how tall he was, at least in comparison to her petite stature. Standing at maybe 6’4”, he had close-cropped dark, honey blonde hair. His sea blue eyes were set in a strikingly well sculpted face with a firm looking mouth that had the smallest hint of dimples around the edges. “I’m new in town and I always like to familiarize myself with the local bookstores. I’m a great reader and I like to support the local economy.”
“Well, I am Charlie Anders, one of the proprietors of The Kentington Korner. Welcome to Kentington, Mr…”
“Just call me Jack.” He smiled down at her and her knees went a little weak. “Well, it looks like you have a lovely establishment here, Ms. Anders. I hope to see you again.”
Just as quickly as he entered the shop, he left it. Charlie couldn’t help but stare after him, puzzled.
Maybe it's my literal economics/mathematical nature, but "the steady wish" doesn't immediately grab me. I like it, it just didn't compel me into the story. On the other hand, your start to "For the Rest..." is much more attention grabbing - there's a tension that makes you want to find out more about Charlie and Jack that I didn't feel about Maggie.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your writing - I want you to autograph my copies when I buy your books!
Thanks, Mr. B! You're the first one to comment. I'm still struggling with the first part of "A Steady Wish" even after working on it for over a year. I think it's probably just because it's a quieter story than "For The Rest..."
ReplyDeleteAnd of course you'll get autographed copies! :)