This blog will chronicle my adventures in Booklandia.
I made my first trip to Booklandia two weeks ago. I hadn’t meant to go there. It just happened. One minute I was curled up in my grandmother’s old chair and the next I was falling on my butt in the middle of a field. I t could have been a field anywhere, in any country. I didn’t begin to suspect I wasn’t still in my world until I saw what looked like a griffin fly overhead.
“Where the hell am I?” I said this aloud because sometimes talking to yourself is the only way to have an intelligent conversation.
“This is Booklandia.” The voice was that of an older man and it came from directly behind me. I turned around to see a wizened old man in flowing blue robes standing serenely behind me. “The land where the fictional characters of your world live on until we are forgotten.”
“You- You’re not Merlin, are you?” As I was asking this I was running over possible explanations for my presence here. Maybe I had too much to drink and blacked out. Yeah, that was it!
“Well, of course I am, girl. I created this world ages ago to give fictional characters a place to live.”
“Right, sure you did. Then what am I doing here? Last time I checked, I’m not a fictional character. Wait! Am I dead? Please tell me I’m not dead. That would really suck.”
Merlin huffed. “You’re not dead, you silly girl. I brought you here.”
“Why would you bring me here?”
“Well, technically speaking, you brought you here, but I chose you when you were a little girl to be the Cleanser.”
“The Cleanser? What am I, face wash?” Yes, I was being a smart-aleck, but I had an excuse.
Merlin rolled his eyes at me. “Would you mind letting me explain? Is that too difficult for you to manage?” I bit my lips to hold back any response I might have made.
“Thank you.” Merlin conjured up two armchairs and indicated for me to sit down. That’s right, I was sitting in fluffy pink armchairs in the middle of nowhere with freaking Merlin.
“Now, as I was explaining, you are the Cleanser. I have waited over 1,000 years to find the right person to carry the Pen of Balance.”
“The Pen of Balance?” I tried really hard not to laugh, but it sounded so ridiculous that I couldn’t help it. Merlin raised an eyebrow and I eventually got control of myself.
“The Pen of Balance is a pen that I have created with the power to…exterminate fictional characters.”
“Why would you want to kill fictional characters?”
“Well, there are some characters that are social menaces and they only get worse with age. They do nothing but disturb the peace of the other characters and put everyone in a decidedly unhappy frame of mind. I’ve spent the last ten centuries riding herd on them and trying to keep them in check, but I saw that I would have to find someone from your world to solve this problem once and for all. So I chose a voracious young reader and granted her the powers of the Cleanser.”
“Why can’t one of the heroes here take care of them for you?” I finally had a legitimate question!
“Because they are part of the fabric of Booklandia. For the most part, heroes and villains live in peace here and very few people die. Only someone from your world can ultimately kill a Booklandian. Believe me, if these people could have been killed, they would have been.”
I had to stop and consider this for a moment. “So you want me to kill fictional characters for you?”
“In a word, yes. Although, I should warn you that you really don’t have much choice in the matter. The powers I put in you when you were five years old will keep pulling you back here until you embrace your destiny.”
“Do I have to live here?”
“Oh, no, you couldn’t reside here permanently. That would negate your powers completely. You will only be called back here when I have sufficient evidence to justify a hit, for lack of a better term.”
“I don’t have to go through any sort of special training, do I? I mean, don’t most chosen warriors have to go through some training course to use their powers?”
“You’re powers will come more from instinct than anything else. Whatever ability you require Booklandia and the Pen of Balance will provide. But your knowledge of books will be of great use to you along the way.”
“Well, that’s convenient.” I sighed in resignation. Who was I to argue with Merlin? “So, where is this pen?”
“Right here.” A sleek, silver pen the size of a woman’s sword appeared in my lap. The tip looked like an old-fashioned pen-nib.
“So this is what they meant when they said the pen is mightier than the sword.”
“I will contact you through the pen when I have need of you, so it must be with you are all times. It will shrink to normal size in your world to avoid detection. You must tell no one of this.”
Then, he gave a flick of his wrist and I was back home in my chair.
I’ll just say it for all of you- WEIRD!!!!
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